JD Law Students Blog

This is understandably a somewhat stressful time of the year as we all focus on what we may be able to improve in the next semester, what our employment prospects might be this summer and how we will be placed in the necessary evil of “class rank.”  With so many numbers floating around, it’s tempting to forget about why we might have decided to come to law school altogether.  Thankfully, many of the faculty members here at Vermont Law School are happy to remind us of the substantive issues facing our country and the world at large.  In between the discussions of exam strategy and grade curving, I do think it’s useful to pause and reflect on the real reasons why we are pursuing a legal education.

I am not suggesting that academic achievement is irrelevant; the desire to “do justice” by itself is not enough to succeed in law school.  I am only writing to note that I don’t think quantitative GPA’s, class ranks or admission indexes themselves are what we are ultimately seeking.  They are tools by which we work towards accomplishing our goals.  It is surely a challenge to keep those broad, idealistic objectives in mind — and one I have struggled with when confronted with the competitive nature of law school — but those goals will continue to drive each of us long after the exams have been put away for good.

Wow.  Last week kicked me in the teeth.

I could be dramatic and say that it was the worst week of my life, but that’s far from true.  I’ve had a lot of really crappy times, low points, if you will, and this does not trump those.  However, I don’t know if I can say that I’ve had a harder week since law school began.

First, there were some school-related administration issues.  I’m not going to get into it now, mostly because I get really riled up over it, but a change in the school caused much disagreement among friends.

Additionally, my boyfriend back home and I are having problems.  I basically started a conversation about how I can’t put much energy into “us” anymore.  I guess at minimum we’re taking a break, and at most we’ve broken up.  I’m not sure.  I feel like a jerk because it’s his birthday this weekend, and I had to start all this stuff.

Also, I forgot my dad’s birthday, which is not like me at all.  I’m usually the one that calls my sisters, reminding them to call Dad and trying to organize some sort of present.  Not this year.  Totally spaced it.  I didn’t even remember until my mom called me.  Ouch.

Finally, I’m just generally not happy.  I haven’t really been gung-ho about VT since coming here, but I’ve been overall accepting of my choice to come here.  It’s not the school, or the location, or the people, because they’re all great.  It’s just me.  I’ve been sleeping for up to 16 hours a day, with little inspiration and no motivation.

 I’ll try to get over it.  It’s a new week, and things can’t really be much worse than they were last week. 

Yay.

No it’s not the Beatles song.  Well it is actually, but for right now it kind of represents how my life could have gone, but I am making the conscious choice not to let it all go to hell.

I realize it has been a long time that I wrote on this blog, since I was a 1L in fact.  For shame for shame.  I need to redeem myself here.  I pledge (my New Year’s resolution) that I will try (qualifier – I am after all a lawyer in training) to write every week.  Signed – me, a 2L named Brenda last name TBD.

Ok with that said, I have a good excuse for not writing.  To summarize in one word (thanks to my contracts prof. who always made us do the one word summary thing) - pain.  It has been too painful to write since whenever I sat down to do so, since a blog is so personal at times, I would wind up writing things I was not comfortable sharing with over a million of my closest “friends” on the internet.  (or however many actually read this).  I think it will be ok now. 

Here it goes:

Pain does not discriminate.  A friend on this JD blog at VLS told me that.  It is so true.  It doesn’t matter your age, your gender, or your experience (or lack thereof) in life, pain will at some point enter your life.  Sorry to say.  Whether it is because a loved one has passed away or you are going through a divorce, for instance, it doesn’t matter.  Pain is pain.  Pain also doesn’t care if you are carrying 15 credits this semester and frankly don’t have (as Carly Simon so aptly put it) “time for the pain.” 

The good news is (yes there is a silver lining – I think) it doesn’t last forever.  Pain passes or at least changes or goes in waves over time.  It is also a matter of degree as well as our individual choice in how to handle it.  I can choose to be upset and depressed or angry or any number of emotions, or I can choose to forge ahead and be the determined and assertive yet also the sweet and pleasant person I know I want to be (albeit sometimes sarcastic – that’s what you get for being over 30 – just watch Sex and the City sometime and you’ll see what I mean). 

I also try to keep in mind that it only matters what my friends (my REAL friends) and family think of me.  Another good thing about pain is that you really do find out who your real friends are, and who is part of your support system, and who the superficial, untrustworthy and lying, non-real people are in your life.  It is a good time to do some house cleaning in that regard.

But I digress.  So no matter what you are going through and when it pops up, pain happens.  Kind of like that other expression S* happens, well it’s the same thing.

WHEW!  I did it.  Now that my friends, is publishable.

Things are hectic.  I am thoroughly enjoying this semester however.  I am taking a number of interactive classes.  For legal profession (aka ethics) we had to put on a play (alla Broadway – sort of) about a particular ethics situation – whether to take on the reprehensible client.  (Soooo many comments come to mind here but I will choose to handle my pain as stated above and take the high road).  In any event, we did a nautical theme and it worked out quite well.  It is much different working with a group of mature adults in a grad school situation than it was when I was an undergrad where half the team would show up drunk.  We worked well together and the prof was very pleased with our performance.  In addition, my other classes also require team work either in or out of class and I have enjoyed working with all of my teammates.  It makes the law feel less theoretical and more practical.

The Journal of Environmental Law is also my passion.  I love to write, and I have been revising my student note on wind power.  I hope to publish it, but even if I do not, it was a wonderful experience learning how to take my writing up a level from where it was previously.  I worked closely with a professor on the topic and I learned so much about wind power and administrative law and the environmental challenges that face us today.  In general, it is exciting to learn something new every single day.

Well, that’s about it for today.  I hope you didn’t miss me too much.  Again, as time permits (oh now there’s a good qualifier) I will write again next week.

Brenda

Alas, here I am, returning for another semester of insanity.

 I’m having a really hard time getting into the groove again.  I think it’s because I didn’t take enough time for me this break.  I worked in a coffeeshop five days a week, saw a ton of friends, and had fun like a criminal.  I did almost everything I wanted and saw almost everyone I’ve been missing, which is great.  Also, I actively pursued summer employment and had 3 amazing interviews.  But I didn’t do what so many other law students did on their break — sat around on the couch watching tv.  And I regret that.  I really think I needed to do that, instead of reverting back to the high-intensity life that was my summer.

 I haven’t even unpacked yet.  I guess I don’t want to, because then I’d be accepting the fact that my vacation is over, and I’m back for the long haul.  I’d rather live out of my suitcase like I did the past 3 weeks than have to deal with reorganizing my life.

 I really wish we had had a longer break.  I think I could have used another week or so, or at least another weekend.

And we’re back.

I survived the ordeal of finals and spend three weeks in a semi-conscious state.

Actually, the break was a great chance to catch up with family and friends and attempt to repair the damage done to those relationships by the ordeal of finals (the American Bar Association requires me to refer to the “ordeal of finals”). Also, I was able to do a great deal of free reading. It is unbelievable how pleasant it is to read something without analyzing every step of logic or attempting to “synthesize” it. I could even read more than ten pages in an hour.

Now I’m re-adjusting to those dry legal opinions.

But here’s the thing . . . we still haven’t gotten grades back for last semester. It’s possible that I’m no longer welcome at this school and I don’t even know it yet! I keep waiting to get a pink slip in my student mailbox directing me to turn my student ID and complementary VLS tote-bag in to the registrar.

That’s a bit dramatic, but after the ordeal of finals the wait for grades is like a stay of execution. You know the axe will fall, but you don’t know when. Grades were due today, and I’ve spent all morning refreshing the page where they’re posted.

Some students are entirely blasé about the whole situation, content to find out their grades at some later time. I, on the other hand, woke up at 4am this morning and wondered if some electronic delay had prevented my grade from being posted until just then.

Maybe I should remember that no matter what grade I got, I learned more last semester then at any time in my life since walking was a novel concept . . .

Maybe a grade was posted while I was writing.

Vermont Law School’s Spring Semester has been rolling along for a little under 24 hours at this point, and already the town has settled into a familiar routine. The big difference for second-semester students such as myself, of course, is that the mystery of ‘heading to law school’ is largely gone now. Expectations are settled, worries are cast away and the language of the old judges is now almost approaching understandability.

One fun episode I had over break — a rite of passage I took later than most — was to finally rent and watch The Paper Chase. The most memorable moment of the film, for me, occurs when the students come across their most esteemed law professor’s first-year Contract Law notes by somewhat devious means. Any fantasies of super-genius or divine inspiration are put aside, and it’s revealed that Professor Kingsfield’s notes are just like any other first-year student’s notes. As one student remarks, ‘They’re just notes. They’re just like my notes.’

Although I don’t think Vermont Law School students will be breaking into the faculty archives of first-year notes anytime soon (good luck finding them), I think the idea of putting aside the mystery and somewhat misleading esotericism surrounding law school is a good thing. There’s nothing magical about first-year notes; there’s nothing unapproachable about law school so long as you are willing to put in the time and effort required. Here’s to another round.