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Crunch Time

I promised myself that I’d work really hard up to Thanksgiving so that I could really enjoy that break. However, I still have one outline that has been pitifully left undone, and another that is a shade of being a helpful tool.

Even the professors seem to be spazzing out about exams now. I have one professor who is giving his students a take-home exam for the first time. He assures us he just wants all of the exams to be typed, and that is the only reason for it to be take home, but to treat it like any other final. He doesn’t know how to administer it or receive it though. He has two weeks to figure out the administrative functioning of a take home exam. In another class, we just attempted a practice exam, and I did miserably. It wasn’t graded, and the professor doesn’t want us to even go over it with him, but it was very instructive. At least now I know what the professor expects for an answer. Other professors are doing the same thing.  I am trying to learn that even in failure, I am learning a lot.

I see so many other hollow-eyed students pass me in the hall. Where a month ago we would cheerily great each other, we now have too much in our minds to muster the strength to put on a brave face. We are all terrified.  I suppose it is a good terror. Stress and fear can bring about the best in people as a motivational tool. Before this week, I was passively aware of the intrinsic dangers of the tests here in school. I was doing the best I could (though now I realize I wasn’t really doing my absolute best), and I wasn’t even scared of my first graded midterm.  Why now am I so explicitly nervous of failure? I guess it’s the culmination. The final, or in many classes, the ONLY show of how much I’ve learned is coming. This is where my professors will tell me if I am “cut-out” for law school, or at least if I spent my thousand of dollars of tuition on my brain or just a couple of great weeks with some really smart people.

Wish me luck, it is crunch time, then the freak outs start.

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