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Claim ticket for a wrecking ball

We are not the idea, we are not the angle or image of legalism. We are human beings looking to be useful. We struggle to find a purpose, strike a chord and run out into a future of assumptions all the while jumping hurdles, taking tests and writing through years of small things. We do it so that we can make it big.

I write this post in the time after the tolling and hard work, one year after the dip, depression and destruction of ideal. I write one year or more into the real. I flipped pages, analysed important words reproduced for my highlighter and have glimpsed what the tool can do when put to its highest and best use. I am forging into the less than linear, having searched for another to guide me into the messy and un-pretty realities of the waking  life after dreaming. It just so happens that the person I needed to find was me.

I’m happy to report that I have bounced out of the student life, childhood and the trials of academia into problems, bills come due, and growth pains that facilitate a future.  I have a better idea of what the work needs to be and who I need to be in order to do it.  I am looking at a world full of problems with clarity and a not so much untested glare, sheen or destructive invincibility. I have had my heart broken and are seeing  it healed in waiting for a new view. This is the space after more than twenty thousand lawyers were let go into questions without answers and the new class left to scratch out a strategy without the distraction of infinite choice, expansive hiring packages and long after the signing bonus became a past times offering.

I am writing after the wrecking ball, where I wait on results, fill out and file application and apply honed and  highly sensitive analysis to my own life, spotting issues for more than points but for my own well being. I am fine or better, it just turns out that I’m not finished yet.



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